Tag Archive | value

Masculinity P4 

Navigate, Engage, Empower and now finally, the fourth ability of the MH&S – Sacrifice.

Although last in sense of these blogs, this dynamic is at the heart of what it means to be a man made in Father’s image.  At its core, Biblical masculinity reveals a Father who sends His Only Son and a Son who lays down His life, to accomplish His Father’s greatest desire: that His estranged sons and daughters would come home.

Sacrifice has two key components to it – value and cost.

Cost is what the one making the sacrifice is prepared to pay because of the value they see in the one they are sacrificing for or toward.

God so loved, He gave…. Jn 3:16

For the joy set before Him, He endure the cross. Cf Hebs 2:10 & 12:2

What we value, we sacrifice for.  Therefore, we can locate what we value by following the trail of our sacrifice.  Biblical masculinity understands the need to value and to sacrifice and how these interact with it other, and the benefits sacrifice can and does release.

So how does sacrifice fit in with the other abilities of the MH&S? It costs you to walk the terrain and produce the map.  To engage you have to disengage first! This too, is the language of sacrifice.  So where does empowerment fit into these?

The law of combination states that when two elements are combined they release a compound, that is energy.  As we as men, take our navigation experiences and combine them with engaging with those we love and value, power is released.

We put something on or in, those we value.

Sacrifice like maturity, is in the minority.

There’s far too much selfishness around.  In fact, there is a dangerous cocktail within society today: boys in men’s bodies in relationship with girls with too much princess syndrome.   The combinational out working of these is often not pretty!

Time and money are real treasures and Jesus said where our treasures are so too is our hearts!   Evaluating what we spend our time and money on, will reveal what we truly value and therein love.

Maybe this evaluation will lead to a life transforming revelation: the need to re-distribute and reallocate our ability to sacrifice.  To give more time and spend less elsewhere or to spend less money and to sacrificially invest more into those things that move Father’s heart – Ps 68:5&6

  • A father to the fatherless
  • A defender of widows
  • Setting the lonely in families
  • Leading prisoners out with singing




A granddad was showing his five year old daughter his porcelain collection and she was fascinated with the colours.  The granddad got temporarily distracted and at to momentarily leave the room.  When he returned he was shocked to see and hear his granddaughter in pain and her hand stuck inside a priceless vase. He tried to pull her hand out, no joy.  He tried all manner of lubricants to see if her hand would budge.  It didn’t.   He finally realised that he’d have to smash the vase, and so, reluctantly he took a hammer and freed his granddaughter’s hand.
What he saw next amazed him.
His granddaughter’s hand had made a fist and was almost white in colour.
fist         What’s in your hand?
She opened her hand and there was an old penny, which the girl had seen at the bottom of the vase, grabbed but could not get her hand back out whilst her hand formed a fist around the penny!  pennycoin
What she clung to eventually destroyed the surrounding environment
Her clinging perspective was catastrophic to her surroundings
What she deemed as valuable had destroyed what was ‘priceless!’
“What may we be clinging to that seems valuable, which might be  destroying that which is priceless?”
The penny and the fist!
The penny could represent many things
  • a mindset
  • a tradition
  • a attitude
  • a loss
  • a grudge
  • pride, vengeance, bitterness, offence
The vase for me speaks of the core people in our world, our family & loved ones.  It is difficult to watch someone you love cling to stuff that’s just not helping them.  In fact it is detrimental to their mental, emotional and relational health.
chinese_vaseThe intensity of clinging can sometimes be seismic to all that’s around us and affect the strength and integrity of the vase, the relationships that make up our core!
This week two politicians clashed and then both clung to the need for the other to apologise first.  It took the intervention of the leader and some key information being shared before one of the politicians apologised unreservedly.  At first, the ex-mayor of London said in effect –
when he apologises for what he said about me I’ll apologise to him!
 In this moment, the politician valued his pride and his will was clenched around his choice like an iron fist.
It’s logical that we cannot receive if our hand is full and that what we need to pick up, sometimes starts with putting something down.  Now, I’m not saying this stuff is easy because it’s not but that which is priceless is being forfeited if we don’t let go of what we deem as valuable: our pride, reputation, standing etc..
Jonah found this lesson out the hard way – fish puke is not an attractant!
Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit grace that could be theirs.      Jonah 2:8
What Jonah was forfeiting was grace.  What he was clinging to is described as an idol, whose value was classified as worthless!
In today’s culture, particularly in the West, we have idle talk but not much talk about idols.
An idol is any person, possession or position, that we value and esteem above all, and from which we draw our sense of worth.
This might sound crazy but hear me out – some people draw their sense of worth and their identity and meaning from wrapping their fist around past problems, pains, losses, hurts, injustices, betrayals.   And in the same way an object tightly held in the hand will impress itself into the skin, leaving a mark, so it can be with us!   It makes its impression and until removed, leaves its mark but worthless means is as no value!  Therefore, it adds nothing of value to our lives.  No positives, no enrichments!
If these  ‘penny issues’ are clung to, they inevitably  become our hallmark: setting the standard and authentication of our identity
victim, betrayed, reject, loser, second, last, over-looked, abused, old, past it, lost it!
Victor Frankl never lost his hallmark, even when exposed to heinous and incessant evil.
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. Victor Frankl
A human being is a deciding being. Victor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves. Victor Frankl
I believe that our hallmark is not drawn from what we have, possess or the positions we hold or what we do but from being made in Father’s image. His hallmark, is the standard for our worth and value and authenticates our identity.  He never changes; life and people will and do.
Father never moves the goalposts!
His unmerited love and unrivalled power are always there, regardless. 
This is grace and He desires that it makes a lasting impression on us but it can be forfeited.  
The enemy comes to rob, steal and destroy said Jesus (Jn 10:9) both the the image they bear inside and them as an image bearer!
Is it time to fling and not cling?
Time to forgive and release ourselves?
Time to come back to grace and be stamped afresh?


“There is always a blessing to be had from the word therefore in the Bible. It makes us stop and look back to the preceding cause before we move on to the ensuing effect!”  Moyter on Philippians
Many years ago, a lady named Joan, who’d known God many years said something in conversation about the word therefore.  She said, “every time you come across this word in the Bible ask this question: What’s it there for?”
Therefore, is there to enable and empower us with understanding about what is available by covenant, to all His sons and daughters.  A core dynamic of covenant is agreement between parties.  It’s about T&C’s.
How many times have you had to go back before you can proceed and tick the box that says ” I have read the terms and conditions?”
Therefore is dynamically like this box.  However, we need to take the time and make the effort to read ‘our part of the T&C’s’ that the Holy Spirit is highlighting.  Stop, think and then commit to our part(s).  Then we can take the promise to the bank, expecting the withdrawal, on the transaction we have just made, knowing that our covenant Father is well in debit and we have understood and are meeting the T&C’s.
I love it when I understand the T&C’s, start them and the withdrawal is immediately and literally deposited into my account!
Through my understanding of Jesus’s  words in Mark 11:24  I by faith, believe and receive what I have asked for in prayer. My imagination is where I lock and load on to His promise!  Sometimes, like being in the bank, you have to wait in a queue, whilst you hold your paper work, before you can ‘literally’ handle the transaction you know is yours.
I find that Hebrews 6:12 is of vital importance to this whole process –
“we do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate  those who through faith and patience [endurance] inherit what has been promised.” NIV
Between, I believe and I receive, and there it is, there is always a gap!  Even a nano second is a gap!
Part of the default settings, designed into the masculine heart and soul is to subdue anything that would come against the ‘beauty’ God has released into His world.  Part of the Genesis job description He gave to Adam and Eve. See Gen 1:28    In this verse God blessed (empowered) them before He commanded them –
He gave them capacity that matched the command!
Whatever you are facing today,  there is within the 8000+ promises in His word  –
a ‘sufficiency to meet any deficit,’ we are experiencing.
Therefore,  let’s go to Father’s word, discover the promise(s) that pertain and relate to our contexts, characters and issues, with the mindset that we are heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ.  Discover our part, believe and receive His promise and conceive it within our imagination. Then begin and continue to do all that corresponds to our faith in His desire to meet our need, and
through faith and endurance will shall inherit what has been promised!


Looking forward to; hoped for; something due; an assumption that will be realised in the future!
All of the above describe attitudes within the hearts and minds of all relationships and the umbrella word for them is expectations.  Everyone, everywhere, in any kind of relationship, even with themselves; have expectations and these can make or break any relationship.
Growing up I often found I’d not lived up to expectations after the event and I gauged the importance of the expectation by the person’s reaction, which gave me information that might lead to transformation, and hopefully a better relationship.
I have to say, this was not the best approach and often led to frustration and anger.  What I needed was clear communication from those who made up my inner circle, about their expectations and I needed to be able to decide if their expectations were reasonable or not.
I guarantee that if there’s frustration in your hearts and minds right now, whether it be a work based, home based or personal capacity based relationship, expectations will be at work and need to be addressed.  I am sure we’ve heard the mantra: if you don’t evaluate you stagnate.  I’m not talking about introspection or navel gazing, rather a masculine heart and soul MOT!
Mot’s check function-ability,  they inspect to see if what has been manufactured is ‘roadworthy and safe!’ Our masculine hearts and minds have been designed and defaulted with capacities, abilities and ‘manufactured expectations.’   Our Father and designer revealed these in-built expectations in the beginning, clearly communicating His expectations of us as men!
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” (Genesis 1:28 NIV)
Then the Lord  God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord  God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Gen 2:15-17 NASU
Then the Lord  God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Gen 2:18-19 NASU
  • be fruitful, multiple, work, guard, protect, cultivate, fill, subdue, rule,
  • know & keep set parameters, acknowledge & recognise our limitations,
  • and avail ourselves of the God-given help that we need and has been provided.
These expectations of Father reveal core functions of our masculine heart and soul but unlike others who have expectations of us men, our Father gives us the ability to more than live up to His expectations. God’s expectations of the masculine soul are not unjust or unfair because before He asked the male soul to be xyz, He gave us the ability to nail, xyz!  This next thought is essential to grasp and remember about the one who made us men and women –
 the statement God blessed them, directly precedes the command He gave them . 
The action of God, He blessed them, releases all the abilities needed to do what He’s about to command!
  • The act of blessing, releases the empowerment to be a blessing!
  • God gives us the empowerment to achieve His expectations.
  • What He has assigned us to do, He has equipped and empowered us to be.
Father has already placed within the masculine heart and soul all the abilities to meet His expectations and, He has also given us the abilities to meet the legitimate expectations of others, especially the ladies within our lives, that fall within the make up and functions of our masculine heart and soul.   No more excuse fellas.  We are loaded with all the ability and all capacity to function in our God-given masculinity.
This, in the beginning stuff, is simultaneously a job description and job spec.  Father sees what needs to be done and so He designs, equips, seriously equips, the masculine and feminine heart and soul, with all the spec they will need, to function in what they have been created and designed for!
My experience at the ATM.
Expectations are really relational withdraws from the ‘other person’s account!’
We can only withdraw when the ‘other account’ is in credit!  As a man or woman reading this, can I ask you to be  realistic, reasonable  & resolute, with the ‘other account holders,’ that are part of your core world.
Are our expectations of each other realistic?
 i.e. do they/we have what it takes, are they/we in credit?
Is our withdrawal request reasonable?
 i.e. we know they are ‘in credit and our account needs their investment, and so our request is legitimate.
What about resolute?  Well, the other day at the bank I was making a transfer between accounts and had to wait quite a while before the teller, to use trad language, said something that was quite telling:
“You can do this transaction via the ATM. It will stop you having to queue!”   Just enter your pin and press the button saying ‘other services!’
All of us I believe have a ‘other services button,’ that will take us to another level of function that we might not be aware of but the other or others, around us are aware of them.  The potential of the ATM was pre-loaded at the design and manufactured level, I had just never been made aware of what was there!
So too are we!  We too can become aware of what’s there!
Sometimes, we have to resolve, make up our minds, to help others around us, see what they have, why we value it, and why it’s legitimate that we make withdrawals upon it.
Resolute is determination working towards a firm purpose.
 If I can see the God-given potential of another but at the moment they cannot, I need to be resolute and help them see their ‘other services button.’  My motivation should not be selfish neither should I be impatient but rather have a deep desire to help them realise and release their potential and maybe help reduce the frustration and anger levels within the relationship(s).
Everyone, everywhere,  has expectations.
Everyone, anywhere, can locate and use their Father given ‘other services button!’