Tag Archive | expectations


If a muscle isn’t worked it atrophies which means it shrinks in size and weakens in its ability to function. When a muscle is over worked it looks weird, disproportionate and often elicits comments.

Expectations are a core, core muscle and avoiding both of the above extremes are vital to the development and maturity of our masculine core.  No man lives free of expectations, they usually and sometimes conveniently choose not to accept this or attend to them.

This normally flows from the experience of having had too many wrong expectations put on them or having tried to meet expectations, they have failed or become absolutely frustrated, so they quit. Now they stop expecting and just go with the flow.

For this group of men their expectation muscle is atrophying!

The other extreme reveals itself in something that us men are very prone to; driveness and just like any over worked muscle, driveness is obvious in the life of a man and disproportionate to the Father’s design and desire for our masculine soul. The Father created man to live and work from rest.

Adam’s first working day was the Sabbath!  A day off was his starting day!

How can we avoid both extremes?  What exercise does our expectation muscle need and how does it become part of our daily routine?

First, we need to accept that we have this expectation muscle by design and our Father desires that we develop and mature it.  A failure to acknowledge this truth is dangerous because ‘perishing and lack of knowledge are intrinsically link.  See Hosea 4:6.

Then we need to take responsibility to work with our personal training Father, to seek the knowledge we need and then daily act on this so we become wiser and mature at our core. I call this initial part, lifting with the bar.

The bar is the essential tool for all the weights[expectations] we shall choose to lift. Starting to rep with the bar, is a decision and an acknowledgment regarding our desire to get our masculine core into shape!

I am using this illustration of lose weight lifting because of the picture and thought contained in Ecclesiastes 3:10 –

“I have seen the burden God has laid on men!”

The word burden can be translated as heavy responsibility, occupation or task.  The thought is not a negative one; burden has so been misunderstood in the church and so it’s time to redeem it.

The thought behind this ‘burden’ He has laid on all men is really the ‘weight of responsibility!’   Our Father given ability to respond; when the right weight of expectation presents itself.  God as our personal trainer and spotter knows our potential because He put it in there and so He is only asking for what’s dormant and latent.

When we respond to His expectation prompts, put all our core under the weight of responsibility and rep, we are introducing our potential to the problem He designed us to solve. This is the core exercise our expectation muscle needs!

“Everything manufactured was designed to solve a problem or bring pleasure, with Father it is both.”

..HE predestined us according to His pleasure and His will.  Eph 1:5

For it is God Himself whose power creates within you the desire to do His gracious will and also bring about the accomplishment of the desire. Phil 2:13

All this acquiring of knowledge, the discipline of practice and enduring through daily habits [reps] leads us to the core expectation the Father has for His men -achievement!

By design we are hardwired for achievement.

Within our hearts, at the desire level, He has given us ideas and outcomes He would love to see, realities He deeply desires would be released into the earth; AND He has also given us the power to achieve these desires.

Father’s expectation is that we will think about this truth, respond positively in faith and do all He will show us, to make it a reality within our time and space context.

He is the only Father who is allowed to dream his dreams through His sons.

He has great expectations of us men.  May we see them fulfilled in our time!





Looking forward to; hoped for; something due; an assumption that will be realised in the future!
All of the above describe attitudes within the hearts and minds of all relationships and the umbrella word for them is expectations.  Everyone, everywhere, in any kind of relationship, even with themselves; have expectations and these can make or break any relationship.
Growing up I often found I’d not lived up to expectations after the event and I gauged the importance of the expectation by the person’s reaction, which gave me information that might lead to transformation, and hopefully a better relationship.
I have to say, this was not the best approach and often led to frustration and anger.  What I needed was clear communication from those who made up my inner circle, about their expectations and I needed to be able to decide if their expectations were reasonable or not.
I guarantee that if there’s frustration in your hearts and minds right now, whether it be a work based, home based or personal capacity based relationship, expectations will be at work and need to be addressed.  I am sure we’ve heard the mantra: if you don’t evaluate you stagnate.  I’m not talking about introspection or navel gazing, rather a masculine heart and soul MOT!
Mot’s check function-ability,  they inspect to see if what has been manufactured is ‘roadworthy and safe!’ Our masculine hearts and minds have been designed and defaulted with capacities, abilities and ‘manufactured expectations.’   Our Father and designer revealed these in-built expectations in the beginning, clearly communicating His expectations of us as men!
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” (Genesis 1:28 NIV)
Then the Lord  God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord  God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Gen 2:15-17 NASU
Then the Lord  God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Gen 2:18-19 NASU
  • be fruitful, multiple, work, guard, protect, cultivate, fill, subdue, rule,
  • know & keep set parameters, acknowledge & recognise our limitations,
  • and avail ourselves of the God-given help that we need and has been provided.
These expectations of Father reveal core functions of our masculine heart and soul but unlike others who have expectations of us men, our Father gives us the ability to more than live up to His expectations. God’s expectations of the masculine soul are not unjust or unfair because before He asked the male soul to be xyz, He gave us the ability to nail, xyz!  This next thought is essential to grasp and remember about the one who made us men and women –
 the statement God blessed them, directly precedes the command He gave them . 
The action of God, He blessed them, releases all the abilities needed to do what He’s about to command!
  • The act of blessing, releases the empowerment to be a blessing!
  • God gives us the empowerment to achieve His expectations.
  • What He has assigned us to do, He has equipped and empowered us to be.
Father has already placed within the masculine heart and soul all the abilities to meet His expectations and, He has also given us the abilities to meet the legitimate expectations of others, especially the ladies within our lives, that fall within the make up and functions of our masculine heart and soul.   No more excuse fellas.  We are loaded with all the ability and all capacity to function in our God-given masculinity.
This, in the beginning stuff, is simultaneously a job description and job spec.  Father sees what needs to be done and so He designs, equips, seriously equips, the masculine and feminine heart and soul, with all the spec they will need, to function in what they have been created and designed for!
My experience at the ATM.
Expectations are really relational withdraws from the ‘other person’s account!’
We can only withdraw when the ‘other account’ is in credit!  As a man or woman reading this, can I ask you to be  realistic, reasonable  & resolute, with the ‘other account holders,’ that are part of your core world.
Are our expectations of each other realistic?
 i.e. do they/we have what it takes, are they/we in credit?
Is our withdrawal request reasonable?
 i.e. we know they are ‘in credit and our account needs their investment, and so our request is legitimate.
What about resolute?  Well, the other day at the bank I was making a transfer between accounts and had to wait quite a while before the teller, to use trad language, said something that was quite telling:
“You can do this transaction via the ATM. It will stop you having to queue!”   Just enter your pin and press the button saying ‘other services!’
All of us I believe have a ‘other services button,’ that will take us to another level of function that we might not be aware of but the other or others, around us are aware of them.  The potential of the ATM was pre-loaded at the design and manufactured level, I had just never been made aware of what was there!
So too are we!  We too can become aware of what’s there!
Sometimes, we have to resolve, make up our minds, to help others around us, see what they have, why we value it, and why it’s legitimate that we make withdrawals upon it.
Resolute is determination working towards a firm purpose.
 If I can see the God-given potential of another but at the moment they cannot, I need to be resolute and help them see their ‘other services button.’  My motivation should not be selfish neither should I be impatient but rather have a deep desire to help them realise and release their potential and maybe help reduce the frustration and anger levels within the relationship(s).
Everyone, everywhere,  has expectations.
Everyone, anywhere, can locate and use their Father given ‘other services button!’